Kmart has a new shoplifter returns policy, allowing stolen items to be returned for a full refund or exchange. Tee hee hee.

\”Last week I pocketed a couple of vid[eo]s from Kmart for my kids, OK?\” said Eric Littleton, standing outside a Kmart in Akron, Ohio. \”One of the tapes was all, like, weird lines, and my kids were friggin\’ screaming, \’Take it back!\’ Without the returns policy, I gotta steal again, but now, I\’m golden. I am definitely patronizing Kmart in the future.\”